


Little love, big love

by mrshopkirk



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Blood, Blood and Injury, Boys In Love, Broken Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Character Death, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Love, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, Gay Male Character, Heartbreak, Love/Hate, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Bucky Barnes, Romantic Friendship, Stubborn Steve Rogers, Stucky - Freeform, Sweet, True Love, bucky loves steve, reference to sex, references to violence, saying goodbye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22829518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrshopkirk/pseuds/mrshopkirk
Summary: Bucky thinks about Steve throughout their lives.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Stucky, bucky x steve
Kudos: 7





	Little love, big love

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on Tumblr.

There you are, my little love. The sun is shining. It’s great to go out and play. I already asked your mom. She said it’s okay. Don’t worry about the other guys. Let them run. I’ll stay with you. I’ll never leave you behind.

There you are, my little love, as white as the sheets you’re lying on. Breathe for me, will you? Hang on for me. Can you do that? Don’t leave me. We have our whole lives ahead of us, you and me. Don’t make me live it alone. They might as well take me too if they come for you. Without you there is no me.

Come here, my little love. Come and let me hold you in my arms. Let me bury your body under mine and make you all mine. Be patient with me because I’m just starting to learn how to love, but I know it’s you. Hang on to me because I’m already hung up on you.

Sit here, my little love. Sit and let me clean your wounds. That small body of yours is too little to hold all that temper, all that fight. Sometimes I smile and wonder how you haven’t burst at the seams already? Please, stop fighting for a day. That’s all I ask. Sometimes I wonder if I love you more. I would do anything you ask me to but you can’t even give me one peaceful day.

Goodbye, my little love, the guns are calling my name. I hate leaving you, not knowing how you’re doing. I’ll come back. There’s no stopping me. There’s no hole in the ground I won’t claw my way out of. Please, don’t follow me. That’s all I ask. Be sensible. Be smart. Don’t be you until I get back.

I’m sorry, my little love, I’m sorry for not being strong enough. I don’t think I’ll get out of this godforsaken land of the dead but know that you’re my last thought, the best part of my life, the biggest part of my heart.

Oh, my little love, how you’ve grown. Why’d you do that for? You were perfect as you were. I guess it’s okay. I have enough love for ten of you. Now let me see you. Let me feast my eyes on you. Let my cold hands roam your body and let me grow bigger too.

***

Come here, stranger, and take me away from this. I don’t know who you are but I know you. I see myself in those blue eyes like a window to the past.

Come here, stranger, and take me in your arms. I won’t fight. I will be pliant. Take my hand and lead the way. I haven’t felt in a long time but right now, it feels like there is no me without you. I wonder how long I have gone without you, how long I was gone.

***

Come here, my big love. Come and hold me in your arms. Bury my body under yours and make me all yours again. Maybe I’m not whole anymore but what is left, is yours and everything that is missing, I don’t need back. It’s yours too and all the memories we will make to make me whole again.

Come here, my big love. Come and let me hold you. That big body of yours is still too little for all your fight. How come you still have so much fight left in you? I’ve had enough. Haven’t you?

Come here, my big love. Come and whisper in my ear all those lovely noises I have gone without for so long. I close my eyes and feel all your hard muscles under my hands but you’re still the same. You still react the same to every touch and make little sounds just like you used to. You don’t know but it makes me happy, hearing little noises come from a big man like you. It’s the sweetest thing ever.

Whisper, talk, moan, yell, be mad, be kind, be silent, I’m all ears. I’ll always listen. I’ll always be here. Of that much I’m sure.

Come here, my big love. Come and sit with me. Draw, talk, doesn’t matter. Just be close. I can’t stand to be apart. I’m missing so many pieces of myself. I can’t miss you too. I’ll fall apart. You’re the biggest piece of me.

Come here, my big love. Please dry my tears. Please tell me all of you is still all mine because all of me is all yours. Even when I was nothing, I was still yours. I don’t think I exist without you. I don’t care if the rest of the world knows I’m here or not. I can be forgotten as long as you remember me.

Don’t go, my big love. Stay with me. Why do you still fight? For who? Don’t say it’s for me because I don’t want you to. I want you here. Don’t lie to me. This won’t be the last time. With you, there will always be a next time. You know how this will end one day. The world can do without you but I can’t. So I’m begging you, don’t go where I can’t follow you.

There you are, big love, lying on blood stained sheets. Red really isn’t your color. How many times have I told you that? Please, come back to me. I want to grow old with you, my love. There are so many stories left untold. There are so many stories still left to tell. So many memories still to be made.

Goodbye, my big love, lying on sheets as pale as you. All those days, all those nights I have prayed for you. Prayers to become healthy. Prayers to become bigger. Begging to stay alive. But here I am, sitting beside you. I guess we’ve come full circle, you and I. I guess you can’t outrun your faith. For all those times I was afraid you would get killed in a fight and you proved me wrong, I now have to admit defeat.

My little love, my big love, you weren’t supposed to leave just yet. I’m mad at you for leaving me. I’m mad at you for breaking your promise. Till the end of the line, remember. Now look what you’ve done.


End file.
